Today, I took the usual auto that brings me to work after dropping off some kids at school. But, for no real reason I decided to sit on the opposite side, facing my back towards the driver. It was an eventful ride.
At one point I realised that that's exactly what my life is - moving into the future rapidly, but backwards. Not knowing where I'm headed, still holding onto the past, too afraid to turn away and look ahead. May be all this 'holding onto the past' thing is overrated anyway. May be there's just no need to let go.
Anyway, I've been terribly caught up with things lately.
In the past 2 months, a lot has happened. There have been new beginnings and ends.
My first actual job turned out to be nonsense, but I've convinced myself not to let it shit all over me (and my resume). I'm going to start afresh. It was a bad decision, but a helpful one. It taught me what utmost corporate crap can be like. I just can't comprehend how people live with jobs they don't enjoy all their lives!
It's been a while since I decided this is not for me, but I'm still here. I have verbal reasons for my holding on to this job, but may be it's really just that I'm afraid. I can almost see myself reverting back to the 'No job-no life-no love-no nothing' phase. And it's not pretty. But this time, it's not going to happen. This time, I'm going to try and enjoy my unemployment for however long it lasts. Which will probably be as long as it takes for me to find a good job. Good, not decent.
On the bright side though, two of my poems have been accepted for publishing. So my work will be published in two different literary magazines (one in print and the other online) in October. So that's one thing off the list! I'm thoroughly stoked!
This has been the most exciting news for me recently, apart from a swollen cheek.
