Anew?

A recent revelation has made me write again. For how long this will last, I'm not sure of. But I do know that it's the mark of a new beginning.

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Today what woke me up was a familiar sound,
not of chattering in the other room, of laughter
or of doors banging shut.

No, today the air is warm, the clouds are heavy.
Something is amiss.
Ah, it is the sunlight that pours in through the dirty windows,
On to our bare skin, bare backs.
This morose morning has been long due,
But darling, it’s just that I hadn’t a clue.

As I stood out on the balcony, I realised this was yet another first for me.
For the first time, I felt the sky was shedding a tear,
Like my mother often said.
I felt the stars were tumbling down.
I felt wrong seem right.
I felt my breath evaporate through the tips of my fingers, between my nails.

They escaped up high towards the dark day sky.
And i touched all the spots where i had been burned on my body from your fingers.

It was so quiet outside but so loud in my head,
And i thought i saw shadows moving like animals in the forest at night, but it was just the sound of
the wind brushing against trees
just like the ruffle in my heart,
and the bones that suddenly seemed so heavy in my chest.

I take one last leap and forget to think,
I don’t want to.
I’m tripping and falling through,
and I can’t see the bottom.
I don’t want to.
As I leave the safety of life,
I cry up at the angry sky and showers akin:
“This rain is not soft enough for my fragile skin.”